That Dreaded First Impression

They say we only get one chance to make a good first impression. True. Of course, the word 'First' suggests one, right.
So it better be good, right?
But it's pretty much a 50-50 split, isn't it? Let's face it, it's not just your kind words, ready smile, correct response, etc that you have to battle.
It's also the other person's attitude. And that is something we can't control. You can be the nicest, kindest person, with the most ready smile, but if that other person is in a crappy mood, or prejudiced in any way, you're screwed. Plain and simple. There is nothing under the sun that you can do to change them or the bad first impression you are about to make, or have just made.
I know what you're going to say. Just do it anyway. All you can do is control yourself.
So, with that in mind, allow me to turn this whole idea of first impressions on its head.
You have just met a person who has made a crappy first impression. What are you going to do about it?
Here's a thought. Get them to make a new first impression.
Well, I'm not talking about going back in time, although if I could, there would be some major changes in my life. 
Nope, I'm talking about the next time you meet that person who left a bad taste in your mouth. It doesn't matter whether or not they were at fault the first time, or whether or not they even care that they'd made a rotten first impression.
Forget it.
Start over. Let them, whether or not they know it, to make another first impression. And if that one is crappy, try for a third. And a fourth. If first impressions are so important, they should come with do-overs. 
Do them over.
Start again.
And if you know you've made a bad first impression, let it go. If you can ask to start over, and if they say no, or look at you like you've grown an extra head, remember, this is also their do-over, too. And they may need a third one of them.
Or a fourth.
Or as one famous person I know said, Seventy times seven.
Do what you can about your first impression, but whenever you can, allow the others who screwed up to try theirs again.

What first impression did you make?

We all get but one first impression. We have only one chance to make it a good one. And I know I've lacked sorely in that department. 

Do you know how important it is? Before you tell me yes, and before you tell me a story of someone's first impression on you, allow me this. 

Years ago, I went to a Romance Writer's National Conference in Washington. It was my first and walking into the literacy signing that first day was like a baptism of fire. I was overwhelmed by the number of women there. Thousands.

Then, a tiny, pretty woman stepped from the crowd. "Barbara!" she called. Her name was Danica Favorite, a fellow writer who took care of some of the Harlequin boards and rallied the Love Inspired writers when we needed rallying. She recognized my name and wanted to say hello.

I could have hugged her. A light shining in the dark, she was, for I was not well known back then. That first impression that she made was awesome.

Fast forward a few years later, in Atlanta, my second conference, and I still remembered Danica's kindness. And there she was, sitting in the lounge, talking to another writer. I couldn't help myself. I hurried up to her and told her, after excusing myself for interrupting, that I appreciated what she'd done years before. She'd made a wonderful, kind first impression on me.

I walked away, telling my companion what Danica had said to me, years before. My friend promptly grabbed me. "Did you see what you did!  Did you see who Danica was talking to?"

I swiveled my head around. "No. I just saw Danica."

"She was talking to Nora Roberts!"

Oh. Well, there goes my good first impression with Nora. I'd been terribly rude, but in my excitement of seeing one kind person I had forgotten my manners. (It's not good form to interrupt people talking at conferences, I was told. Oops. But to be honest, if I followed that rule to the letter, with 2,000 plus romance writers, I probably wouldn't get a word in edgewise!)

Still, my point remains. Danica had made a wonderful first impression. We only get one chance to make that first impression and yes, we screw it up sometimes. 

Now that you've heard my sorry story, the story behind my rather poor first impression on Nora Roberts, I'm going to ask you to do something the next time someone makes a bad first impression on you. 

I'm going to ask you to remember me, because that person ruining his or her first impression with you may not be doing anything malicious at all.

They just don't realize that you're as special as Nora Roberts is.